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My tour through China was not unlike an educational field trip for adults. There is simply so much to learn, see and do in this huge country, and we had the luxury of navigating China’s cities with someone who could easily connect the dots for us in a very short period of time. Sure, there’s a stigma associated with organized tours – who loves wearing name tags in public? “Hi, I’m foreign!” – but I think this was the best route for a first-timer in China (and, for the record, I totally didn’t wear my name tag). To me, it was more like I was hanging out with a group of friends – one of whom was born and raised in Beijing and liked being the center of attention. “Brian” was full of jokes and often gave us personal insight to his life in China (well, unless we asked about politics or religion – read more about that below).

Here are some things I learned along the way. Again, pardon any inaccuracies. I’m digging into my memory and deciphering my cryptic handwriting in my journal to write this.

There are 3.1 billion people in China. Eighty percent are either agnostic or atheist. The remaining 20 percent are Confucianist, Buddhist, Taoist, Muslim, Catholic or Protestant (in that order). Prior to Chairman Mao’s “Cultural Revolution” in the 1970s – which, in my opinion, should have been called Mao’s “Wipe Out Culture, Dignity and Hope Revolution” – most Chinese were practicing Buddhists. But believing in a Higher Power or being spiritual was just kinda silly to the Communist Party, which focused on serious things like hard work, dress codes and economic equality among all men (read: We all get to be poor now!).

These days, things are better. The official party line on religion is you’re free to believe whatever you like – but only as long as what you believe does not in any way, shape or form undermine the principles of the Communist Party. Interpret that as you please.

Walking the line seems to be a reoccurring motif in modern-day China. At least in its larger cities, China is beginning to resemble something closer to a free market and free society, yet it’s peppered with exceptions that remind the Chinese who is in charge. College graduates now have the freedom to choose their career paths. Yet, not too many make it to college. I think only 10 percent on average can pass the widely dreaded state-mandated entrance exam. People can live wherever they like – i.e., farmers can move to the city, and city folk can move out to the countryside – but they’ll forever carry an ID card that reflects where they were born, and their families will forever pay extra taxes because of the move.

Love and Marriage
In the cities, it’s very common to marry whomever you like. Arranged marriages are “oh so last decade” to cosmopolitan folks, yet it’s still very common for families to pick the spouses in rural areas. The legal age to marry is 23 for boys and 21 for girls. If you wait longer, the government financially rewards you (either with tax breaks or a payoff; I can’t remember). You see, the thinking is – getting married equals getting pregnant, and getting pregnant contributes to the population problem.

Speaking of which, in the cities, there is a “one child” policy. All couples are allowed to have one child. After that, you better not forget to take your pill! If you have more than one child, prepare to be heavily taxed and don’t expect any public assistance to school, feed or medically care for that child. It doesn’t exist as far as the government is concerned.

In major cities, affluent “dido” families are all the rage (Double Income Dog Only). To its credit, the Government’s strategy for population control is working – the country’s growth rate was 2.5 percent in 2004, yet only 0.9 percent in 2005. For rural families, it’s a bit different. You’re allowed to have up to three children – one to bale hay, another to milk cows and another to break horses. It’s all about growing your workforce. I’m being a little facetious here, but you get my point, I’m sure.

Media
China has literally thousands of printed publications and TV channels, yet the official newspapers and news stations are state-owned and heavily censored to follow the Communist party lines. Ask a Chinese person to comment on current politics in their homeland, such as “the three Ts” (Tibet, Taiwan and the Tiananmen Square Massacre), and a typical answer will be a shy, quick reiteration of what “the paper” said. No further comment. By the way – did you know that the Chinese government finally convinced Google to block these very topics from its search engine capabilities on the Chinese site? Yep. It’s true.

Real Estate
The Chinese can buy property but they will never own the land beneath it. That’s government property – no if, ands or buts. Makes it a lot easier when the Government decides to tear things down and do something else. Of course, the Government gives residents in those targeted neighborhoods money to relocate, but more often than not, the sum isn’t enough to cover expenses, and families end up struggling to get back on their feet and build another nest.

Income
Just as recent as 15 years ago, China had an iron rice bowl policy, which basically meant that no matter how hard you worked, no matter how many hours you put into your job, no matter how productive you were – you received daily wages equivalent to a bowl of rice. Well, today, China is very different. Foreign businesses have invested extensively and the Chinese are capitalizing heavily on the industrial boom — at least some are, anyway. There is a huge gap between the haves and the have-nots. About 80 million Chinese belong to the “new money” class. Brian liked to call them the “fat cats.” They don’t have to live in box-like high rise apartments with their entire families. They get to live in big houses in Western-style subdivisions that sit outside the downtown area. In Beijing and Shanghai, in particular, the average salary is five times higher than the country’s average.

It’s interesting to note that there are three types of income in China – white income, gray income and black income. White income includes the reported salaries and wages – in other words, the money that people report for taxes. A typical salary for a government employee is about 1,000 to 2,000 yuan a month — roughly US $125 to $250 a month). Note to self: Cancel interview with the People’s Republic Department of Public Communications.

Then there is the never taxed and never reported grey income (my personal favorite). Grey income is, um, how shall I put it? Blatant bribery, perhaps? Well, not entirely. Grey income encompasses tips for good service, but more often than not, it entails bribes for preferential treatment. Never at a loss for dramatic flair, the Chinese usually deliver these bribes in red envelopes. It’s a widely expected and accepted practice. Red envelopes are viewed kinda like bonuses – except your clients and customers are issuing them, not your boss. For instance, need a teacher to dote over your only child to ensure his or her academic success? Toss the apple. Try a red envelope. The crazy part is that the Government taxes anywhere from 5 percent to 45 percent of a person’s income, depending on their tax bracket – but a typical person’s reported income only accounts for maybe 25 percent of what they’re actually taking in once you count the red envelopes.

Then, lastly, there is black income – the fruits of black market activity. This is the official income of China’s criminal element. You’ll find some of the most profitable gangs operating around China’s historical icons, hocking postcards, knock-offs and cheap souvenirs to people like me. (For the record, I never bought from the street vendors. Sure, the prices were fantastic, but I didn’t want to support that element.)

What else did I learn? Oh, tap water in China is not drinkable (for foreigners, anyway), but certain cities are changing that. For instance, Beijing has a plan in place to implement a purification system for its municipal water service by 2010.

Oh, and the Chinese alphabet… You think we had it bad learning 26 letters. Ha! Try a language that encompasses 91,000 characters. Now, granted, no one is expected to know all 91,000, but – on average – a child by fourth grade must learn 2,000 to 3,000 and college graduates typically leave their universities knowing 8,000 to 10,000.

At age 35, I can say that I know two characters (and I’m not referring to my ex-husband or Leslie, Austin’s infamous transvestite). The first character stands for victory and is pronounced “Kai”; the second stands for flute and is pronounced “dee.”

Might explain why my clarinet career didn’t make it past the sixth grade.